How would YOUR favorite Pokémon treat you?
Charizard
The white frat boy who yells every word to the Drake song they’re playing at a generic sports bar. Tried his hand at being a rapper early on in college. Owns a longboard but doesn't know how to use it. Likes to be the center of attention and sometimes skateboards up and down dorm hallways while using his hands to guide him. Plays a lot of pickup basketball in his spare time. Exclusively drinks Fireball.
Blastoise
Has a hard exterior. Processes a lot of the world internally and doesn’t speak. When he does speak, he has a very dry sense of humor, which is why his friends keep him around. Has the best stories. Will make you a questionably green smoothie in the morning with protein you’ve never heard of. Will ignore your requests to drive to Mcdonalds because he has never obtained a license or baby fat.
Venosaur
Prince Charming, the one you get along with all night. Twirls you around the dance floor, likes the same bands as you, also went to Lake Okoboji the summer of 2007. Hates his dad but loves his mom. Throws peanuts in the air and catches them on his tongue. Very passionate about some baseball team. Has a girlfriend but would still like to be friends with you. His window of being single is slim.
Alakazam
The pretentious boy who only reads the classics. Won't label himself because he is more than labels. Can be found smoking outside saying capitalism is the root of all evil. Favorite book is Infinite Jest. Will make you feel bad for liking a particular thing and call it "flirting." Favorite band is Radiohead. Lives in Chicago suburbs with parents who make $200,000 a year.
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